Perfectly Organised

Posted on 09/03/2023 @ 2:41pm by

1,103 words; about a 6 minute read

I had a little argument with Kreca this morning, which on reflection, probably started because I ate most of the pancakes at breakfast, leaving only one to her. Honestly, I didn’t know that she loved pancakes that much. Anyways, she was in a foul mood and asked me to flog one of her early paintings, because she needs some cash.

It annoyed me, first because that painting is barely a sketch, really, so I don’t value it much, and secondly, I am a busy man. To prove it, I’m writing down my schedule today. I’ll show her a redacted version of it tonight, and I will bring a whole stack of the best fluffy pancakes available on the station, just to be on the safe side.

0700: I left our quarters with beady eyes, as it is way too early for me. Went directly to my office at the embassy. Checked my messages. There was no surprise, good or bad. Sometimes the tedium is so insane. It stares me in the face just when I need my day to be crammed with duties...

0750: I received a parcel from Ferenginar. I asked my attendant, Lak, to open it for me, in case it was packed with explosives or laced with serpent poison, anthrax or something more exotic. One never knows... Thankfully, the parcel was perfectly fine. It contained all that’s needed to set up a holo-teacher in the Ferengi school that we have here. It should have been great news. Only we have no need for it anymore, as we finally secured a proper teacher, scheduled to arrive later on today. I’ll have to send the parcel back. Pretend it’s faulty or something. I’m quite good at getting my money back.

0820: The parcel is on its way back to Ferenginar with a long letter of complaint from yours truly.

0830: Customs summoned me yet again for another problem with a Ferengi shipment. A whole container of ship’s parts arrived and its quality assurance is visibly fake. I hate it when our people can’t even be arsed to produce decent counterfeited products. It makes us all look stupid. It took me half an hour to trace the vendor and slap him with a fine, on top of the financial penalty imposed by the Station.

0900: I was so annoyed, I killed an hour checking my investments. All is good on that front, and it rejuvenated me. I decided on the spot to buy Kreca’s below-par sketch, so that she can have her cash. A female with cash... It sounds like the beginning of a great horror story.

1000: Meeting with the Alliance’s current trade minister. A very predictable bureaucrat who is seeking a better cut. His department has a monopoly on most Ferengi trades and since they haven’t barred my attempt at acquiring a mine on planet Gavara, it’s obvious that he would want to talk to me about my plans. The FCA doesn’t give a toss about what I do on Gavara, what they want is their share of latinum. It’s best that I see this as an additional tax to pay. I need the FCA's blessing after all.

1500: I finally emerged from the embassy’s conference room, where I also wined and dined the minister. I felt a lot lighter when I left the embassy, having lost so much latinum during the conversation. Hopefully I’m now one step closer to acquiring this mine. Sadly the TM also told me he would be staying on Poseidon for a whole week. He expects me to continue to regale him with brilliant food and equally inspiring anecdotes. Drat o_O.

1515: Greeted the new Ferengi teacher, a young starving thing who came directly from Ferenginar-City. The poor soul looked like he was about to collapse, so I bought him a snack. The cheapest noodles I could find. At least it's a hot meal. Once he had been revived I told him what to expect. The kids come and go, according to the whims of their parents. There are often 2 or 3 that no one ever sees because their families don’t trust teachers, not even holo ones. Those are kept at home, where their parents can brainwash them at their leisure. For the rest of those kids, the situation is straightforward: they are kicked out of their house at 0900 and aren’t expected to come back before 1700. During this lapse of time it is the role of the Glorious Ferengi Education to turn those ignorant young citizens into bright entrepreneurs. It is absolutely vital that those younglings are kept in the classroom, so that they cannot roam free on the station and cause all sorts of weird situations.

1700: I brought Opur (the teacher) to his quarters. I’m not sure he will last long on the station. I’m not even sure he will turn up for work tomorrow. Maybe I should have kept the package with the holo-teacher equipment, after all...

1710: Meeting with my staff. Razir (cultural attaché) has finished his exhibition on the history of Ferenginar. He is now working on advertising this event. I told him to go to Mrs Moreau’s gallery where he will be able to advertise his exhibition for free. Razir refuses to go there. I’m beginning to think he is afraid of Emma. Never mind, I’ll leave a few leaflets over there myself.

As for my envoy, she is in a good mood today. She revealed that she is writing her monthly report on the embassy. She thinks I care about what she might say about me.If the FCA fires me, she is unlikely to survive on Poseidon.

1800: Turns out Vlum got the last word after all. She has arranged a last minute press conference and only informed me about it like, five minutes ago. Now I’ve got to rush and be interviewed by Yenzo, my old chum from the ‘Inconvenient Truth’ network.

There I was asked, among other things, what were my thoughts on Jackson Porter and his novels, and why we don’t have such a renowned writer on Ferenginar? I was honest, I haven’t read anything by him and I don’t intend to. But I praised his good fortune and his marketing ploys. He is a model to follow and the young sons of Ferenginar would be well advised to study his financial strategy.

1930: I’m worn out and ready to go home. I’ve got a box of pancakes, and another one of chocolates, for good measure.

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