Invitation to Poseidon

Posted on 08/13/2023 @ 5:27am by

840 words; about a 4 minute read

Dear Neph,

I hope this message finds you well and that your multiple businesses on Volchok continue to flourish. If I were a better Ferengi, these lines wouldn't exist and I would keep the splendid wedding gift you sent me. But as you are aware, I always go against the grain, and so I'm returning your latinum. My wedding was a complete fiasco. The would-be bride, perhaps more intelligent than I gave her credit for, never turned up and she fled to Bajor. Under those circumstances I will be unable to enjoy this money. Silly, isn't it? I can hear you from here pestering against me. Calling me an idiot, and perhaps even a useless Ferengi.

You told me in numerous messages and video calls that this relationship of mine was ill fated. So congrats to you for being so clever and being able to see so well into the future. It must be nice to always be right. How things change, though. It took you some twenty years to build your financial empire. Back in the '70s you were just a starving nobody who was quite familiar with mistakes and blunders. But now you are some kind of great oracle apparently. You know everything.


A week has elapsed since I wrote the lines above. I was feeling rather dejected. I'm sure you get the picture: a freighter-load of resentment with too much bad energy, and you weren't around to cheer me up, or punch me in the face to shut me up. To make amends, I'm also sending you an invite to Poseidon Station. We only live once and I assure you, you are going to love it here. Sure, there aren't that many Ferengi around compared to Volchok. Poseidon is in the hands of outlanders. A profusion of hewmons of course, but also Betazoids, Bajorans, El Aurians, Klingons, etc. Most of them haven't got a clue how to do real business, and so they leave our species mostly alone. Of course it helps that, as the Ferengi Ambassador, I iron out all the mishaps, small and big, encountered by unfortunate Ferengi. I hate to say it, but our people aren't always terribly clever. Do you remember that day, at the trading centre, when a group of investors wasted hours trying to explain the power of latinum to a Vulcan scientist? The poor chap had probably never owned more than half a slip of latinum his whole life. The same sort of gross impudence happens here. The creativity that goes in those money making schemes is quite dazzling.

You will say, I can talk. I know next to nothing about what it takes to run a profitable business. This is true. However you have to admit, I lead a decent life, and I've never had to work too much for it. Think what you want, it is a wise man who doesn't exert himself too much and who values the quality of his life. Don't worry though, I haven't gone all hewmon yet. I will soon own my very first mine. If this isn't the best of both worlds...

Also, when you are here on Poseidon, I will be able to introduce you to the new light of my life - indeed no time was wasted, since Kreca (this is her name) initiated this relationship. I know you disagree with me, you prefer the company of latinum to anything else, but I find that living with a female is elevating, in every possible way. Still, don't ask me if I will tempt another wedding, I haven't got a clue. Kreca then, is an artist and I was thinking that maybe you might want to have a look at her paintings and take a few of them back with you to Volchok? Who knows, they might sell. I know that, unlike most Ferengi, you are bold enough to promote the work of a female. It is, after all, the duty of our generation to encourage changes, otherwise our society will keep stagnating. You’ve proved this yourself with the tactics you use in your businesses, playing the long game, humility, challenging the competition, changing the rules, you always seem to know which method to adopt.

Also, if you want to see something truly amazing, make your travel arrangements right away. Someone has had the fantastic idea to invite a famous hewmon writer to this station and there are fanatics everywhere. Outlanders seldom grasp the need to trade from the strength of indifference. While we worship latinum, those weaklings worship celebrities. They are funny like that. Still, thanks to this, commerce is flourishing, at beautiful rip off prices. You might even be able to make a killing or two thanks to this insane business.

Well, I will stop here. I’ve got a trade dispute to sort out. It’s between two Ferengi factions, and I’ll have to be fair and impartial. It might take me some time to get there...

Looking forward to seeing you,

Your friend,

Brek

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